Quelle Scandaleuse

It seems France’s First Couple is a legal force to be reckoned with these days. Now Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the First Lady, is involved in a lawsuit uncannily similar to her husband’s recent entanglement. The scoop is that a clothing company has designed a 3€ canvas tote shopping bag with a nude image of Carla silkscreened onto its side. The bag has been a popular item on the island of Réunion, a French overseas département; the company plans to start selling the product on mainland France soon. The First Lady apparently objects to her naked image being used for profit. The image, taken of Carla in ’93, sold for $91,000 at a recent auction. The situation begs the questions: 1) how did you think that photo would eventually be used? 2) how are there nude photos of a First Lady floating around in the first place?

While the first question is rhetorical, the second has a longer answer. If you’ve seen pictures of Carla, you may have wondered how such a beautiful, young woman is married to such an unattractive older man (it’s the power, stupid). Their romance was hardly conventional, either. Sarko and his first wife, Cecelia, were estranged even during his 2007 presidential campaign; she already had a lover in New York. Cecelia stuck by him until three months after he got elected and then ran off to be with her paramour. What’s a lonely Président to do? Start dating the most beautiful woman he meets, naturally. The couple made quite the media splash during their brief courtship, getting married only a couple months after they made it public they were dating.

And the French went wild. Many were disgusted with their new president’s apparent prioritization of his love life above all else, calling him a horny teenager (or worse). Others were caught up in this public soap opera, obsessing as much as the media, which came dangerously close to U.S. or U.K. tabloid-style coverage. Men across France eschewed Sarko’s actions to their friends, but secretly envied him for his prize beauty. Others weren’t so coy about their appreciation of Carla’s looks. Someone in my husband’s office sent a PowerPoint document of nude photos of her to at least a third of employees. (See, in France there is no such thing as sexual harassment, and apparently PowerPoint has some very interesting applications.)

Why the brouhaha over Carla? Yes, she’s a very attractive woman, but so what? Turns out her past is a bit checkered, what with her scandalous sex life. (And therein lies why the French are, in reality, swooning over her.) Here are some facts on Carla Bruni, as reported by the French and international media:

- She is a supermodel / actress / singer. Under supermodel, we can include posing nude. I guess by becoming First Lady, she wanted to add another slash to her business card.
- She cavorted with the likes of Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton, Kevin Costner, and Donald Trump. She has always been drawn to men with power. Or big lips / hair.
- It gets even juicier: Seven years ago, while living with her then-lover, an older man, she had an affair and fell in love with his married son, who was ten years her junior. He left his wife, she left his dad, and they married (only to eventually get divorced themselves). Yowza. That’s even more twisted than the film Damage, my former benchmark for romantic scandals in-family; in the movie, Jeremy Irons dallies with his son’s fiancée and things do not end well, surprise, surprise.
- Carla released a new pop album after becoming First Lady, in which she croons (allegedly about her new husband): "You are my junk. More deadly than Afghan heroin. More dangerous than Colombian white… My guy, I roll him up and smoke him." Uh-huh. Besides the obvious controversy, let’s just say that Colombian officials weren’t pleased. Her defense? It’s just a song about addiction to love. Carla, that’s nice and all, but it just got a whole lot ickier envisioning you feeling this way about Sarko. And there’s the provocative “'I am a child despite my 30 lovers,” although Carla claims she chose 30 arbitrarily, as it sounded better than 20 or 10 in lyrical form. I kind of admire her spunk and nonchalance—so what if I’m First Lady? I will not compromise my ART (quote marks imagined around that last word).
- But perhaps the biggest stir the Italian-born, French-raised Bruni caused was going on the record as saying she prefers Italy to France. Ouch. And with that, she hit the French right where it hurts the most: their national pride. I’m surprised her home wasn’t bombed with baguettes.

You’d think this would be a recipe for disaster, but the French have warmed to Carla, as have many other international figures. During the Sarkozys’ visit to England, the British press dubbed her “the new Diana.” Sarah Palin, during the infamous prank phone call perpetrated by a pair of Canadian comedians posing as Nicolas Sarkozy, gushed over his “beautiful wife. Oh my goodness, you've added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.” (Palin either didn’t know how to respond or couldn’t comprehend the accent when “Sarko” later mentioned, “You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she's so hot in bed.” Ha.) And last but not least, David Letterman was practically putty in her hands during her demure performance as a guest on his show:



Could you imagine any of these sordid qualities in an American First Lady? She wouldn’t be allowed through the White House gates. Well, maybe during the Clinton years—and that, folks, is why the French adore Bill Clinton.