President Is Prick(ed)

The latest “only in France” item to grace the news reads like a great Onion article. Only, it’s real.

Toy company produces voodoo doll of President. President sues company. Court rules in favor of toy company. Claims “right to humor.” But also, in keeping with French meticulousness, orders toy company to print the following on the doll’s box:

"It was ruled that the encouragement of the reader to poke the doll that comes with the needles in the kit, an activity whose subtext is physical harm, even if it is symbolic, constitutes an attack on the dignity of the person of Mr. Sarkozy."

Ouch. Was that a needle in your eye, Sarko? I’m sure record low presidential approval ratings (nearly as low as Bush’s lowest) would have made the doll a success on its own, but your office botched this one but good. Rather than let the doll appear on Lefties’ holiday shopping lists and run its course by the end of the year, you handed the toy company more publicity and thus the recent court ruling launched the doll straight to cult status. What’s more, you exposed your wounded dignity in the process (I guess the doll works?).

Apparently the toy company has also produced Bush and Hillary dolls. Which got me to thinking…aren’t there tons of Bush dolls (I mean, action figures, ahem) out there?

Yes, of course there are, and too many to list here at that. However, here are some choice gems:

The Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure Doll will run through W’s most notable verbal gaffes--or even make him choke on a pretzel! (how’s that for a throwback?)--powered by remote control. Plus it’s got double redundancy in its name! An apt mirror to W’s special brand of articulateness.

Turkey Dinner George W. Bush Doll reveals the ultimate political turkey: W serving a big, golden bird, presumably to the troops in Iraq. And that’s all he does. Yawn.

George W. Bush Toilet Paper: the perfect item when you really want to run a smear campaign. (Oh no, she di-in’t!)

Texas Homegrown Dope Seeds: Put this in your pipe and smoke it—you can grow your very own Shrub from magic dope (it’s a double entendre, get it? get it?) seeds.

It’s notable that the George W. Bush Punching Doll Bop Bag (a child’s punching bag toy in the likeness of one W) has been removed from its e-commerce site due to being sold out.

Well, well, well, France. You finally came up with a satirical doll for the man who has been President for 18 months. You have once again shown you can be clever, but unoriginal and late to the party.