Parisian Gyms - They Ain't Just About the Exercise

OK, I admit it, I’m on a tear with the blog this week. It became quite apparent that I’d waited too long since my last post when people actually pointed it out to me. It’s not that I’ve lost interest. The truth is, I’ve been obsessively knitting a hat all week. (N has decided that knitting is ‘my WoW’ and keeps asking me what level my hat is at. For those who don’t understand the geeky gamer humor, you’re probably better off that way, heh.)

So today’s topic is the gym, because I beheld the most hilarious sight while departing from there today. To back up a bit, N had previously seen someone exit the gym and immediately light up a cigarette - not too shocking in one of the foremost smoking capitals of the world. Well, today’s scene trumped that: I saw a woman outside the gym smoking in her exercise outfit, finish her cigarette, and then walk back inside for more working out! Hysterical.

And that image perfectly symbolizes one facet of the French attitude toward the gym, and life in general: everything in moderation. Unlike in California, where it's by and large all or nothing where health is concerned, the French have a relatively non-fussy attitude towards health - play sports and afterwards have lunch, including dessert and a glass of wine. Anyhow, that doesn't mean the gym is a serious endeavor. while many people do go to the gym to actually exercise here, I’ve also seen a lot of people at my gym just sitting around, chatting with friends, or checking other people out – hardly what I’d call a workout. Even the people who are breaking a sweat seem distracted. It’s very rare for people to bring reading material to the gym (unlike in the States, at least in my experience), so they do the next best thing – conspicuously stare at yours, as if they truly believe they can read the miniscule magazine print from the cardio machine next to you.

There’s more evidence that the French don’t take their gym time seriously. A big, boldly colored plaque is displayed over each water fountain that implores gym denizens, in French of course: “While working out, it is crucial to frequently drink (water).” I kid you not – they actually have to spell it out! I mean, sure, I usually drink a liter of vodka during my workout, but I didn't realize it was a widespread problem.

Then there’s an almost contrary issue at play, constituting the other facet of gym culture here: pervasive aggressiveness. N has had a difficult time in the weights room because many guys monopolize one machine for way too long. And the thing is, they aren’t doing set after set – they’ll do one set and then just sit there for however long they please, and look challengingly at anyone who approaches with even a remote interest in using the machine. The other problem we’ve noticed is that the cardio machines are popular and tend to be extra scarce over the weekend and early in the week (peak workout days). Now, this was also an issue in our tiny Cole Valley gym in SF, and while no one used the sign-up sheet there, we all abided by an honor system – don’t monopolize the machine for too long, clean it up when you’re done, and also wait patiently for someone to finish. Well, some people haven’t caught on to the wacky, new phenomenon called the honor system here. On more than a couple occasions, people have swooped in like vultures when someone dismounts from the machine (in reality, to walk only a few feet away to grab a paper towel and disinfectant to clean the machine), throwing the vacator’s personal belongings on the ground and just launching into their own workout. This happened to N once and he was not happy to return to the machine, only to find his towel and magazine in a heap on the floor.

I was warned about the gyms here. I’d read Adam Gopnik’s fabulous memoir Paris to the Moon years ago, and even then his chapter recounting his experiences in Parisian gyms had me rolling. He wittily described the gym members as getting dressed to the nines for their workouts, limply exercising so as to not break even a wisp of sweat, and then happily grabbing a snack from the junk-food vending machine conveniently located in the gym. He, on the other hand, was the icky American who actually exercised and grossed people out with his superfluous perspiration.

Well, in certain ways, gym culture has changed since the mid-90’s. Sure, it may not seem as serious and focused as it is in the States (I mean, they have to be reminded to drink WATER and not booze for cryin’ out loud). However, many people actually do exercise there. I’ve attended a variety of classes (there’s actually a great selection, including pilates-esque stretching, conventional aerobics, aqua fitness, yoga, a variety of dance classes, and so on), and they’ve usually been full. People aren’t always rude. In fact, my fellow gym-goers might be so kind as to offer me a post-workout cigarette or swig o’ bourbon someday.