Patriotism, Expat Style

I teach English to Parisian businesspeople, and with my more advanced students the agenda often deviates from verb tenses and possessive pronouns. Sure, we may discuss relatively mundane matters such as what we did over the weekend and which patisseries have the best tarte tatin; however, we often delve into meatier territory such as the environment, the global economy, business matters, and politics. And as I’m a curious person, I frequently try to pick apart issues concerning French society, as well as the European community – but without fail, all roads lead to America, as my students are curious, too. And so, while I technically get paid to teach a language, I often feel that my job takes on a whole other dimension, that of American Cultural Ambassador to the French.

Frequently, my Other Job takes the form of the “Is This American Stereotype True?” game, which my students love to play. Is it true that in America people eat all day long? Is it true that in America people are obsessed with money, and even ask each other how much they earn? Is it true that in America almost everyone has a gun? Is it true that in America people work 24/7? As Cultural Ambassador I strive to educate my students on the nuances involved—but ultimately I’m forced to explain that these stereotypes are all at least somewhat true relative to French culture. Take the one about Americans working too hard: I am especially amused by the incredulous looks and horrified gasps when I reveal that Americans get a standard two weeks of annual vacation – not five, as in France.

I suppose I should be thankful that the French are at least fairly informed on American life, even if some perceptions are blown out of proportion or are erroneous altogether. My Australian friend, who also teaches English, has suffered far worse blows: a student actually asked her if kangaroos pop up in people’s backyards. Stereotypes aside, there’s clearly more to my country’s story and while I always start out by presenting America in a positive light, I have from time to time found myself caught between bashing and apologizing for my home culture on several points.

Litigiousness. Well, it’s something I’m hardly proud of, but the fact is America has its fair share of unnecessary lawsuits. France, on the other hand, is a country in which individuals do not adequately prepare themselves for potential legal trouble. For example, in a Parisian apartment building, all lights are off in stairwells and hallways unless someone pushes a button that results in temporary illumination. Not to mention, when light bulbs eventually burn out, they have a tendency to not get replaced for some time. While this is at best a fantastic energy-saving measure and at worst a major pain in the ass, it would never happen in the States. Why not? Because if someone fell in a darkened stairwell and injured himself, he could blame the building owner for negligence. How was he to know he had to turn on the light himself? And incidentally, if the light is out for over a week, it’s clearly the property manager’s fault. Needless to say, I have spent quite a bit of time decoding the expression “it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen” for my students. If someone in France took a steaming-hot coffee to go (which would never happen here to begin with!), drove with it wedged between his legs, and consequently burned himself, the French would laugh and call him an idiot. No lawsuit would instantly ensue, and thank goodness.

Sex in the workplace. Speaking of lawsuits, sexual harassment is also a concept that hasn’t quite caught on here. It’s perfectly normal to tell dirty jokes in the office or for a male superior to comment on how pretty a female subordinate looks (Michael Scott would have a field day in France). No one but my American husband raised an eyebrow when a co-worker forwarded a PowerPoint presentation of naked Carla Bruni photos around his office. My French colleague’s student repeatedly hit on her for over a month before she asked our manager to assign a different teacher. Every time she confided in me, I told her point blank: “In my country, this would never fly.” And this is what I am forced to constantly explain to my own students: Paris Hilton aside, Americans are prudes! And we draw very firm lines in the sand when it comes to propriety, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Although we did almost impeach a president because of it—something the French (and I) cannot comprehend.

The last 8 years (or, he who shall not be named). The “he” in question isn’t Lord Voldemort, but rather the soon-to-be lame-duck-in-chief. Probably the number two question I, as Cultural Ambassador, must field, is, “How did he get elected twice?” I’ve expounded on the following topics more times than I can remember: the electoral college, hanging chads, red state vs. blue state culture, 9/11’s impact on the national psyche, our atrocious war and how its messy wake swayed many Americans (despite their better sentiments) to vote for him in ‘04, the disappointment that was John Kerry, that 49% of us did not want him around for a second term, and that all public-speaking evidence to the contrary, Dubya is not as mentally feeble as he seems. My students perhaps got more than they bargained for, but at least their already-negative views of W have been more fleshed out.

Election fatigue. As if the prolonged primary and its abundant news coverage weren’t reasons enough, I’ve also fallen prey to election fatigue because Indecision ’08 (as “The Daily Show” has branded it) is The Number One Issue on which my students want my opinion. Is Obama really the “Black Kennedy” (as the French media has dubbed him)? Why won’t Hillary give up? And just who is this John McCain character, anyway? These are the questions I get day in, day out. I’ve analyzed the pros and cons of each candidate, dissected every mini-scandal (from Rev. Wright to “100 years in Iraq” to Hillary’s RFK gaffe), and described the major election issues and how much they matter to various constituencies. However, while it can be fatiguing, tackling this election isn’t as demoralizing as, say, regaling my students with tales of ambulance chasers. It can actually be inspiring. We may not yet know who the Democratic nominee will be, but it fills me with hope and pride each time I tell my students with full conviction that America seems ready to elect its first Black president. A president of color and one who promises a real change of direction—two concepts that are also totally foreign to the French, but for once I’m not wincing as I explain the intricacies of life back home.