Cultural Perspectives (This Might Take a While…)

Being an expat is like carefully examining a Russian nested doll. Each experience in the new culture enables you to remove yet another smaller layer before reaching the essential nugget nested deep within its core. After only being in Paris for a month, I clearly have not yet permeated its entire core. However, I have been immersed in it long enough to have picked up on one small nugget and some of the layers that comprise the national character.

One small nugget I have plumbed from the depths of this intricate, complicated nesting doll of a country is that it is quite illogical. Nate discovered an almost perfect manifestation of this irony in the neighborhood where he works. There’s a street called rue de Progrès (yup, it means what you think it means), which boasts a string of run-down, two-story buildings, laundry lines strung haphazardly between them, paint peeling, cracks running down their faces down to the street. And poking up in the background from another street where times haven’t been as tough is a proud, sleek, silver skyscraper. This image is but a taste of the rules of French life that I have thus far discerned.

And before you read any further, I must caution you that what follows contains a fair dose of facetiousness, but is not meant as a complaint against or denunciation of the French. It’s just that I’ve learned that patience, expecting the unexpected, and, most importantly, a steadfast sense of humor are crucial to one’s survival of what may seem at times to be utterly absurd.

Rule #1: Red Tape Gone Wild
You need documents to get anything done. Not one, not two, but loads of ‘em. And in order to get those documents, you need to get all of the myriad prerequisite documents. I’ve been in several situations in which I had all 99 documents I thought I needed, except there was always just that one that I didn’t have or didn’t know I needed to have, and there wound up being a crucial piece of paper standing between me and a job, a cell phone, a monthly transportation pass, etc.

Rule #2: Adventures in the Land of the Ill-Conceived
Paris has some of the most amazing architecture in the world. One building is more intricate and lovely than the next. Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it before, but what you don’t know is that sometimes they ain’t so pretty on the inside, and I don’t mean aesthetically – they seem to miss the mark on the structural design. For example, our hotel room is equipped with an Ethernet port and a desk, which you would think would be placed right by the Ethernet port so you could happily plug in your computer and be on the Internet in a snap. You would think that. On the contrary, the port is located on the opposite side of the room from the desk, so we’ve had Ethernet cables strung precariously across the living room for weeks, risking our necks for a chance to communicate with the world outside France. (Yes, we do it all for you.) Another instance of this was at a hotel in Provence where you had to literally climb over a high ledge into the shower. And don’t even get me started on the double-door “security” system at our bank…

Rule #3: Is Consistency Part of Your Job?
We’ve dealt with quite a few services already – bank, ISP, hotel, government agencies, cell phone provider. And in dealing with every single one of these services, we’ve gotten different information from different people. Case 1: An employee for a cell phone company told us certain documents were needed to set up an account, while another employee of the same company gave us a different list of required documents. Case the second: The government agency I visited to get my carte de sejour asked why my passport wasn’t stamped. If you’re a government agency tasked with looking for passport stamps on a daily basis, wouldn’t you be aware of the government’s regular passport stamping practices? Case 3: Even though my name hasn’t officially been on our Paris bank account (more on that later), I was able to deposit cash last week but then couldn’t the other day. Indeed, you must never take anyone’s word for anything here. Just keep asking until you get the answer you want.

Rule #4: Modern Banking in France: Where Leisure Time Goes to Die. AKA, NATE’S GUEST BLOG NESTED WITHIN A BLOG.
For those of you who watch the show “Lost,” you should be familiar with the frustrating principle of “It is not what information each new episode divulges, but rather what new mysteries and questions it poses.” Similarly, French banking is not about getting any particular thing done, but rather having new obstacles arise on subsequent visits, because naturally, on any particular visit it’s either the wrong time, the wrong day, or the wrong person is there to assist you. Although the full details of our banking escapades are beyond the scope of this post, suffice to say, we’ve probably spent more time at our bank than any other location outside our home and work – and we’re just now almost done with our major tasks. Some frustrations have included: no deposits accepted on Saturdays; three different branches had to be contacted in order to authorize a wire transfer from our US bank to find the proper level of clearance; Jess couldn’t be added to our account for weeks because the documents had to be prepared and signed by the lady who created our account, and she was on vacation until today (and what if she had quit her job, what happens then?).
JESS BACK AGAIN…PLEASE ENCOURAGE NATE TO TEAR HIMSELF AWAY FROM WOW AND GUEST BLOG SOME MORE IN THE FUTURE.

There’s much more to the slow-as-molasses progress that drives this society (anyone who’s ever visited the country can attest to what feels like pervasive customer non-service). But the truth is, there are also several innovations here that put American systems to shame. French bandwidth plans are a dream. For 30 euros total per month, you get Internet (at 20 times the speed of what you get in America), French TV, and a VOIP phone that allows you to call the US and other international locations for free. In addition, the magnetic transportation passes can be scanned – not swiped - at turnstiles, so you don’t even have to take them out of your bag; plus the pass refilling machines are far easier to use than the NYC Metrocard machines, which have the faultiest touch-screen interface I’ve ever encountered.

Paris has also implemented two environmentally-friendly measures that I really respect. Many large markets do not simply give customers plastic bags, but instead charge a nominal price for them, incentivizing consumers to bring their own totes or mini-shopping carts. Moreover, in July the city installed a public bicycle rental service. The bikes, called Velibes, are located at racks throughout the city where you can pick one up or drop one off. The first 30 minutes are free, with the cost getting quite high by the hour. The bikes seem to be ready available and are wildly popular. I haven’t partaken yet, but I plan to make use of it for commuting and leisure purposes.

The process of maneuvering the hassles and complications of life here is more than outweighed by the pleasures and charms. As mind-boggling as these issues can be, I've also been able to maintain enough objectivity to find them rather amusing (even after going out of my way to deposit cash at two different bank branches and being turned down). It’s nice to have some likeminded people (N of course and expat friends) that can appreciate the differences but also poke some fun at them.